Choosing chastity, whether for spiritual, religious or pragmatic reasons, means choosing not to exercise sexuality.
There are two types of abstinence.
Total abstinence is when you decide not to participate in any type of sexual activity with any person. This is the only safe method to avoid getting HIV and other sexually transmitted infections. For some people, total abstinence implies not even kissing.
Partial abstinence is when you decide not to perform the sexual act or intercourse, but you participate in other types of sexual activities such as kissing or mutual masturbation. Adolescents who practice this type of abstinence enjoy the pleasure of sexuality with a partner, even to reach orgasm, while they know that they run a much lower risk of contracting most sexually transmitted infections.
Whether you choose total or partial abstinence, you will have the advantage of knowing that there is no risk of pregnancy as long as the semen is not near the entrance of the vagina.
Deciding whether you are ready to start having sex can be complicated. The pressure from friends to “do it” can make you feel forced and uncomfortable. Or you may worry about how your partner will react after having sex.
One of the advantages of abstinence is that it gives you time to discover what is right for you. It also allows you to prepare for the emotions, thoughts and responsibilities that arise once you become a sexually active person. Some people choose abstinence for short periods, others choose to abstain while they do not find a partner that they really love or with whom they can initiate a commitment for a lifetime.
If I choose total abstinence, does this mean that I cannot even masturbate?
If what you want is not to get involved sexually with a partner, then you can masturbate without any fear that it will interfere with your goal. If you do it to not explore or satisfy any sexual desire, then you will feel more comfortable if you do not masturbate.
Does abstaining mean that a person is frigid?
No way. People who decide not to have sex are as capable of experiencing sexual arousal and orgasm as any other person. For various reasons they have chosen that sex is not the most important thing at the moment.
What do I do if people think I am wrong because I choose abstinence?
Only you should make the decisions that affect you personally, no matter what others think. Whatever you choose, there will always be people who do not agree with your decision. It is better that some people think that you are wrong and not that you do something that later on you will regret.
Is it possible to practice abstinence if you are already in a relationship?
Anyone can opt for abstinence during any period of time, even if he or she is no longer a virgin.
What should be done if someone really likes you, but you do not feel that you are ready to have sex?
It is normal to control your sex drive until you feel good about it. Meanwhile, discuss it with your partner and observe how the situation develops. It is possible that the sexual act is out of the question, but that does not mean you cannot practice your kissing skills. You never know, but it is possible that your partner has the same point of view as yours.